


Notice Me

by TGIntentX



Series: Robin Romantica [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Grayson (Comics), Midnighter (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Character Study, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Slow Burn, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unrequited Love, i apologize in advance if anyone had been disappointed in this fic, the relationship tag stated is not the endgame of this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-03-22 10:52:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13762569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TGIntentX/pseuds/TGIntentX
Summary: Loving someone when you're not supposed to – it hurts. What's worse even more is when the other person doesn't even know how you feel about them. Dick knows the feeling quite well. Because to him it is enough. Staying by his side is enough.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers! First fic of 2018. Originally I was working on this close to the 4th quarter of 2017 when everything turns to shit. I'm still cleaning up the mess from 2017 and I am keeping my cards close to my chest for 2018. Originally I had planned to post this in the middle of April. But just because I have a somewhat shitty year doesn't mean I should deprive the readers something to read. After this I am returning my hiatus because I have some stuff to take care of. I'll update or post new stories maybe near middle of April or May. But for now, enjoy!

Dick was sure that he came to the train station too early as he waits for Damian to arrive. Forty five minutes too early, he inwardly scolded himself and checks his phone for any new messages. No new messages he shoves his phone back into his pocket and leans against the pillar, watching people go.

It isn't rush hour but there are always a lot of people at this station. The station he's waiting in have more than one line and a hot spot for shopping centers and restaurants. People are always coming and going, never stopping or walking at a leisure pace.

A crowd is coming up the escalator. It is the train that Damian is supposed to take, Dick noted. He was a little bit disappointed he didn't see Damian in the crowd, hoping he would show up early. Maybe he was in Australia for too long that he got lost getting here. But Dick inwardly laughed at that ridiculous notion knowing a Gotham native never forgets.

There was this one person from the escalator that caught his attention. Quite literally he towers the crowd over six feet tall. Average height for male Gothamite is five foot eight so this man is quite something. Random thoughts came flying out at Dick from this guy is tall enough to play basketball to changing a light bulb without using a chair.

But his train of thoughts came screeching to a halt when the man turns around and Dick gets a good look of his face.

Fuck, he knows him.

Before the stranger could see him, Dick quickly goes to other side of the pillar so that he wouldn't be seen. He sneakily glance at the corner to see if he's gone but finds the man standing not too far away from him. In fact the man is right across from the pillar he was hiding behind, leaning on the balcony overlooking the trains. Dick makes a small frustrated noise at the back of his throat when he didn't move. Guess that man is waiting for someone as well but why does he have to wait here.

Dick took a moment to look at the handsome man closely. Tall with red–ish brown hair. His long black coat hides his muscular frame, if he looks closely enough it looks like leather. He still looks the same after all these years.

Then Dick frowned, hiding his face in his hands. Just looking at him and his past comes rushing back at him like a monsoon, swallowing him with tides of mixed emotions. He was ashamed for what he did and knows that there is no redemption for his action.

 

* * *

 

It was not one of his proudest moments when they first meet. Five months after Barbara passed away. Four years after Damian joined the family during the trial of the century. And maybe the same amount of years before he and Damian got together.

“ _If you want, you can close your eyes. Otherwise relax and just let go.”_

His voice. His movements, the strength of his hands. God, his hands... Everything is just different than what he's used to. At that time he just wants to forget. Someone to take the lead and pull him in.

“ _You don't have to hold back. I want to hear you scream.”_

He follows the pull, guided by the man's touch, hot and heavy. His body shivers as his touch strokes his body all over, taking in every detail until there is no curve left unturned. Bringing him to the brink of something he crave. Bringing him into ruins.

  


Dick wakes up slowly to an unfamiliar ceiling, grimacing when his skin feels too sensitive. It took him too long to realize the man he went home with is lying next to him with his head propped in his hand, watching him with a predatory gleam.

“No need to feel depressed,” the man said, smirking. “You don't have class today, right? I don't have work today either so we can just take our time.”

“No thanks,” Dick said, hides his blush as he immediately gets up to put his clothes on. He wants to get out of here as fast as he can, not wanting to stay a minute longer.

Snippets of what they did slowly trickle into Dick's mind causing him to stumble a little when he tries to put his clothes on faster. He recalled the man's name M. Or maybe that wasn't his name. He remembered the business card that he was given has a fancy giant M plastered on it that would make it easier to associate. Maybe the card is in his pocket or something. Not that it'll matter. He is never going to see that man ever again.

“Your shirt is inside out,” M commented. He had a feeling M is smirking at him even with his back turned, more specifically staring at his ass. His face looks like it had a permanent smug on his face that Dick has the sudden urge to punch it.

He quickly continues to put his clothes on correctly, while desperately trying to ignore M. “Hey. How about going out with me for brunch?” M suggested calmly, the opposite of what Dick is feeling. “I'm not saying we should be one of those couples, you know? Just a fun relationship where we see each other whenever we want.”

Dick frowned a little when he found his shoes, bending down to put them on, not noticing M making an appreciative noise behind him. Is M suggesting a friends with benefit relationship? No strings attached? “No thanks. I'm not interested.” Finished tying his shoes, Dick takes his bag and jacket that was thrown haphazardly on the couch and moves to leave the apartment.

“I think we'd get along together,” M continued, following Dick on his way out the door. “You look very lonely yourself.”

“Sorry to have bothered you.” Dick kept his eyes forward as he quickens his pace. This guy is very persistent, not a good trait for a one night stand.

M sighs. “But aren't you in a one–sided love that will never go anywhere? You're too young to stress out on something like that.”

“You don't know anything,” Dick spat, throwing the front door open with a little more force than necessary. He didn't have the heart to wince or apologize for that, wanting to get home as soon as possible.

He was about to step out of the threshold when M suddenly took hold of his arm and draws him back. He didn't have time to react as he was spun around and drawn into a surprise kiss.

Dick froze under his touch. It was chaste kiss as M lets go a second too soon, mockingly sweet. After trying to avoid eye contact since they met he could finally see M's face clearly; his strong jaw roughed with stubble, his eyes dull but piercing. His face handsome but there was just one thing he hates about it.

His goddamn smirk.

That smug look on his face looks so permanent as though M finds Dick's unfortunate circumstance amusing. It's so irritating and annoying like M is laughing inwardly at how pathetic he's acting. He just wants to wipe that damn smile off his face because this is not funny. He feels angrier just looking at him.

M crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall. With his arms crossed his broad biceps prominently show their shape. His t-shirt rides up revealing an enticing pelvic bone. Dick has a hard time to not to stare.

“Feel free to call or text me anytime,” he said nonchalantly, as though they haven't kissed a second ago. “I'll listen to any of your kicked puppy love problems.”

Kicked puppy love?! Dick bit the bottom of lips, tightening his grip on his bag and jacket into a fist. He forces himself not to say anything he'll regret, keeping his anger in check. He could feel his face slowly going bright red as he tries to keep his face neutral on a professional level. Practice and skill he has maintained from interacting with socialites.

But the universe seems to have other plans when M's smile grows wider. “Give my regards to Bruce.” Then he closes the door.

Dick was left staring at M's door looking aghast and horrified. He forces himself to move, heading toward the elevator on the left corridor. With the door closing shut in the empty elevator, Dick screamed in frustration to his heart's content. The embarrassment he feels is so strong, leaving M's smirk as a long lasting reminder of shame burned into his memories.

  


On the way home Dick was finally able to look at the business card M gave him. Midnighter Publishing Garden, he reads from the card. That does explain the giant M above the company's name. He turns the card over in his hand and find M's phone number, fax, and the company's headquarters address. Not too far away from Wayne Enterprise. And more importantly he found M's real name; Lucas Trent.

Dick frowned a bit, testing the name on his tongue. The name feels odd for him. Maybe it's because he's been calling that guy M in his head for quite a while. He certainly didn't call his name when they did that...

Dick forcefully shakes his head to snap out of it. He tells himself it doesn't matter. That was his first and last meeting with that guy. He shouldn't let him get to him.

They met each other under normal circumstance. It should be considered odd if he were to think about it. Chances of meeting a guy like M would be at a club or a bar rather than on a regular street corner. He was standing outside a coffee shop, waiting for a chance to run into a certain someone. He didn't know how long he had waited. His ears had turned red from the cold and his body shivering. He was about to go home when M walks up to him.

“ _Do you want to get out of here?_ ”

Those simple words said so callously made it easy to follow him home. So easy to be undone by a stranger's touch. His cold shivering body warmed so easily under M's hot embrace. His hands roughed with callouses roamed against his skin, burning as it trails his body, engulfing him.

Dick scowled as he looks into his bathroom mirror. He didn't even notice the marks until he's out of the shower. Red marks littered all over his body, prominently his neck. He frowned harder into the mirror, it'll take a while for the marks to fade. He's just glad it's the winter time so he could wear a scarf or a turtle neck to cover it up.

A sound of a doorbell rang has Dick leaving the bathroom while simultaneously putting on a shirt closest to him. It was just his luck that he didn't check the peephole to see who it is when he opens the door and froze.

Dick's eyes widened. “Bruce? What are you doing here?”

“Taking emergency refuge,” Bruce stiffly replied, stepping into the apartment without waiting for an invitation, leaving a dumbfounded Dick by the door. “Your place is the closest to the office.”

“Bruce, did you work overnight again?” Dick asked, watching Bruce takes off his shoes and drapes his jacket on the sofa. “You could have called Alfred to pick you up.”

Bruce lets his whole weight drop on the sofa and leaned his head back with a heavy sigh. “He's going to force me to eat his cucumber sandwiches and take a shower before I can go to sleep,” he tiredly replied. “I've been awake for more than twenty hours and all I need now is sleep.”

Dick frowned. “He would be right to do so. You look like you're about to collapse.” He didn't even notice at the door that Bruce looks really tired. With work at the office and the impeding trial of the century coming up, he's been stressed to no end. There isn't much that Dick could do to relieve his burden.

“I just need a couple hours of sleep and I'll get out of your hair,” Bruce yawned, stretching his arms up. His dress shirt stretches his broad frame, wrinkling the fabric. “Alfred will pick me up later.”

With a penthouse and a manor, Bruce wouldn't have any reason to visit Dick's apartment. Even with his apartment close to the company's location, Bruce rarely visit. Their relationship barely changed as awkwardness is avoided by Dick's urgency and Bruce's dismissal. This must have been his threshold.

Dick watches Bruce settle in a comfortable position on the couch before he goes into his room. He comes back with a pillow and blanket and hands them to Bruce. “I still think it's better if you go back to the manor,” he said. “Wouldn't you want to sleep on your king-sized tempurpedic bed? The couch isn't that comfortable but you could sleep on my bed instead. It's not as nice as the manor's but it should do a better job than my couch.”

Bruce rubs his tired eyes before settling his blank gaze on Dick. Not saying anything he must have been staring at a particular spot when Dick remembers the hickeys on his neck. He is wearing his regular shirts without a collar, leaving his neck and collarbone exposed. He inwardly kicks himself for that thoughtless mistake, quickly brings his hands up to cover his neck and looks away.

“It's nothing,” Dick weakly said, avoiding Bruce's gaze. Bruce doesn't need to say anything to convey his disappointment, at least that's what Dick thought. Maybe he's thinking something worse than disappointment. Like a stone dropping down to the bottom of the pond, Dick could feel shame rising in his chest.

“Okay,” Bruce replied in a low voice. “It's not my place to say.” Lack of sleep, the reason for his tone of voice. Not disappointment, Dick's mind hopefully provide. The man has been awake longer than twenty hours, he probably thinks it's a bug bite or something.

Before Dick could say anything he could hear light snoring from the couch. Bruce had fallen asleep.

Dick settles down in the armchair, next to the sofa. His eyes traces the features of Bruce's sleeping face. The hard and rigid lines on his face partially melted away leaving a rare calmness in it's place. Looking at him it was as though sleep has shaved off a few years from this man. Bruce hasn't change much over the years, remembering the man who took his hand in his and led him home. He remembers when they were still both young and everything was so new. The warm smile he gives when Dick showed him an acrobatic trick. The fond look when he sees Dick did something endearing. The exasperated but not annoyed shake of his head when Dick made a mess. He missed the man Bruce used to be when it was just the two of them against the world.

But as time goes on Bruce began to close himself off leaving Dick in the cold. The praises and warmth he once received would become less and less. So desperate Dick would do anything for his attention even almost broke the law. He was particularly rebellious during his teenage years that he almost didn't graduate high school. They would fight and yell even if it meant that Bruce would pay a second of attention to him. He could still read Bruce's expressionless face and get him worked up enough to lash out at him.

It hurts him, this one–sided love.

In the end, Dick left for Hudson University to put some space between them. He had always craved for Bruce's attention but he couldn't bear it if Bruce hated him. With distance their relationship slowly mended but they couldn't return to what they had once been. Dick had hope that his love for Bruce diminishes and it did only by a little when he met Barbara. He puts all his attention and focus on her, to invest on the future he had crave.

But he found that love can be roughly taken from him. He unknowingly returned to Gotham for his graduate studies but he didn't return to the manor. He got an apartment in the city, an excuse to concentrate on his studies to not be distracted by his adopted siblings. When he saw Bruce he wanted to run up to him and embrace him in his arms. The love that he have had for Bruce didn't fade away but had burn so strongly that Dick had felt helpless when he saw him again. It made him feel guilty of Barbara's death, wondering of all the times he had spent with her did he ever love her or was she a substitute for Bruce.

It made Dick hate himself. He barely returned to the manor even if Bruce wasn't there. Rarely contacting the family, only returning a call back if one of them reaches out to him first. And as always Dick always smiles, no matter how much it hurts.

Dick slowly brings his arm up to reach out to the sleeping man. He ached to trace those lines on his face, from his forehead to his nose until it settled to his lips. He had seen the peacefulness of Bruce's sleeping face once when he was young, staring up at him when the sun hadn't rise. How long has it been since he'd seen Bruce's face like this. The person that Dick is willing to spend his life with. All he wants is to stay by Bruce's side, nothing more.

A particularly loud snort stopped him, the distance barely a foot between his finger and Bruce's face. Dick's eyes widened, quickly brings his hand back to his body and clutches it to his chest. These feelings he has for Bruce are too dangerous, he shouldn't have felt this way. What would he had done if he had confess to him and ruin everything they have. Would Bruce have notice the hold he have over his heart.

Dick sits back in his armchair and brings his knees up to his chest. He leans his head against his knees, closing his eyes. Just sitting this close to him feels like a thousand miles apart. This is all that he could do.

_Just like this is fine._

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in a good mood today except for a small annoyance. But other than that, enjoy!

Bruce took him in when his parents had died and became his whole world. It was so easy that he unknowingly gave his heart to him when he has no one else. But Bruce has no idea how much Dick loves him. If he did, he wouldn't have taken in the lonely orphan as his ward.

Despite his bravado, these thoughts that plague his mind always leave him scared and vulnerable. So vulnerable that even Barbara would exploit them when she is feeling particularly nasty. Daddy issues, she sneers. He never bothered to correct her when they got into one of those fights.

Maybe it was misunderstandings the reason why he and Bruce aren't particularly close. The reason why there was so much distance between them was because he has never been honest with himself. It was his own dishonesty the only reason why they still have some sort of relationship. To be true to his feelings for Bruce would mean the possibility to destroy everything they have between them. If that was the outcome, he would rather prefer being misunderstood rather than being honest.

It's thoughts like these that causes him the most grief that he would feel miserable for days. They would even pop up when he's doing something mundane. Even now as Dick struggles with the groceries he's carrying in his hands. After finishing his project at the library, he decided to go grocery shopping for the week. There was a sale on the cereal aisle which is why he's carrying more bags then he usually carry on a grocery run. He could have called a cab or even Alfred to ease his burden but he did love a challenge.

In the end he's stuck on the crowded subway with multiple bags in his hands. He's on the receiving end of dirty looks shot in his way but he couldn't care less. At least he could count his blessings that it's not raining otherwise he would have been completely miserable.

Even as he exits the subway he still has to endure the bustling crowd. Despite being double bagged, the weight of his items are pushing the threshold. His plastic bags are bruised as people roughly rushed past him, inadvertently bumping against him. The handle slowly starting to break when suddenly –

“I got it.”

The bag that was about to fall to the floor was scooped out of his hands by an unknown hand. Dick peers upward to that familiar voice when he suddenly felt his mouth going dry.

“Surprise to see me, Grayson?”

M looks back down at him with that signature smirk of his. His hand carrying the bottom of the grocery bag as the handle had just broke. The accessory was a little bit mismatching with his large black coat draping his huge frame. But he didn't seemed fazed, grinning as Dick stiffly stands back up.

“Are you following me?” Dick accused.

M quirked an eyebrow as though this is funny. “Well aren't you a bit conceited?” he replied, his grin is still there. “I have an errand to run in the area but I'll help carry them back to your home.”

Nonchalantly he took another bag from Dick's hand and started walking away. It took a second longer for Dick to get moving as he was still flabbergasted by M's sudden appearance. Multiple times he tries to subtly take his bags back but M always moves out of reach. It almost seems like a game to him with the way he smirks after each of his failed attempt.

Eventually Dick stops trying to retrieve his bags and walks beside M with a defeated sigh. He should be thankful for the help, especially with the weight he's carrying. It was much easier with an extra pair of hands but it'll be last thing Dick would ever admit to a cocky bastard like M. Taking a look in another angle, they made an odd pair.

“I never knew that a guy like you would have an unsophisticated food palette,” M commented, raising the bag in his hand. “Crocky Crunch? Really? What are you, eight?”

Dick shrugged. “They were on sale.”

“And you're still using bulk frozen vegetables – is that microwave dinner I see?” M scoffed, shaking his head. “Life of a student is so simplified. I could always cook for you, better than what you would usually find in your pantry.”

Dick could feels his ears turning red from embarrassment. “No thank you.”

“You sure? It's no trouble at all.”

In his mind Dick curses the long distance from his station and apartment complex. Its only twenty minutes away but it feels longer with M accompanying him. Not even ten minutes in and Dick is already counting to ten in his head to control his anger. How does this person able to get under his skin and not feel a slight of empathy is beyond him. Every time he sees him he feels like he has to be on his guard.

He needs to know the reason for M's actions. “Do you do this kind of thing with people you slept with?” Dick suddenly asked.

“What kind of things?”

“Err.. you know...” Dick mumbled, avoiding all eye contact he could manage. His hand twists the handle of the bags he's carrying. “This and that... stuff like that... That thing we did...”

Dick hunches his shoulders when he hears M's deep chuckle. He knows he's being vague and stupid but damn M if he wants him to elaborate. Luckily it doesn't seem like he needs to respond as M nodded knowing what he meant. “I don't really do this with just anyone but for you I'll make it an exception.”

“Yeah but why? You barely know me.”

“Oh I don't know... You just left _behind_ a fine impression.”

What an odd thing to say, Dick frowned. Sleeping together with someone he barely knew and in return he got a business card and an extra pair of hands. It seems like M is the one who is being vague rather than him.

“You're very good looking, do you know that?” M offhandedly remarked. “You should smile more often to go with that pretty face.”

“I think I'll still look good without smiling,” Dick smoothly replied. “And as for you, I think you shouldn't smile that often.”

M raised an eyebrow at that thought. “Oh? And why is that?”

Dick shrugged. “It's not normal.”

M shakes his head. “I have clients to work with and business relationships to maintain,” he said. “I manage to close a lot of deals with this smile. Do you know it takes more muscles to frown than to smile?”

“Smiling is not the problem,” Dick answered, rolling his shoulders to readjust his backpack. “It's just impossible to smile all the time. You may look happy but your eyes say otherwise. It gives people the wrong intentions about you.”

When he didn't hear an answer Dick feared that he may have overstepped his boundaries. He took a quick glance at M and saw that the man isn't smiling. It felt odd and unnerving when that superficial smirk or smug look is gone. Unnatural even. He just didn't like that goddamn smirk on M's face every time he looks at him. As though every time he sees him he feels like he's laughing at him. His unkind smile. But this expression, it's different.

“Ah... sorry,” Dick apologized, shooting M a shaky smile of his own. “I shouldn't have said that.”

“It's fine,” M mumbled, gazing at something faraway. “You just gave me something to think about.”

Dick took another quick glance and frowned. M isn't exactly smiling nor frowning. Its something in the middle and Dick couldn't place that expression.

M glances at him from the corner of his eye, his expression unreadable before turning his eyes to the street in front of him waiting for the light to turn green. “You're an interesting man, Dick Grayson.”

  
\---  
  


They were walking past Gotham Courthouse when Dick saw a large crowd in his way. There were many news station vans parked around the block. Reporters and cameramen are setting up their equipment at the bottom of the steps waiting for someone to appear.

“It's so troublesome they're blocking the way,” M complained. “Lets walk on the other side instead.”

Dick follows M and crosses the street. Just as they were on their way, the news stations started making some noise as the person they were waiting for finally arrive.

“Mr. Wayne!”

Just his name stopped Dick in his tracks as he turns his head to their direction. He could see Bruce walking down the steps of the courthouse slowly with a bunch of reporters waiting below him. Although Bruce has some guards to keep the reporters at bay, they were barely held back as they crowd around him. Cameras were raised and microphones are waved as questions were thrown at him from all around.

“Mr. Wayne, what do you think your odds are on winning this upcoming trial?”

“The LoA Corporation is aiming to acquire the Wayne contract with Kord Industries in this trial. How will this fare for Wayne Industries R&D?”

“Will this trial affect negatively on WE stocks?”

“Besides fighting for Ms. al Ghul's child custody, what other punitive charges will you pursue?”

Bruce didn't let the questions overwhelm him nor answer them as he walks to the car waiting for him. He regarded the reporters coolly and gives them a trademark smile. He even waved to them when he drove away.

Dick frowns, watching the car drive off and the news station crews left in the dust. In the past Dick has been subjected to the eyes of the media and they were all not too kind of him. As he grew up, the attention has waned and shifted to his siblings. But for Bruce, he will always be in the limelight, both good and bad.

Sometimes he does wonder if he is the only dishonest one in their relationship. That irritating smile on gossip magazines and interviews. It was necessary because Bruce must never show weakness to these people otherwise they would tear him apart. Frowns and a cool look is also a norm, even within his own family. For Bruce to smile sincerely other than his fake smile reserved for magazines and interviews is rare.

Sometimes he wonders if he's ever seen that sincere smile.

“You know, I think I know what you mean about that smile thing,” M commented. “But guys like Wayne don't have that luxury. It is so ingrained to them that it would be impossible to see whether they are sincere or not.”

Dick absently nodded knowing it was somewhat true. Bruce's trademark persona keeps his enemies on their toes and give the public something to love. His fake smiles hides his cunning mind. Some days he feels it's hard to distinguish Bruce from his public face. To feel that he couldn't be as truthful and relaxed at home worries Dick.

“This is enough,” Dick said, reaching to take his bags. “My place is close by.”

M didn't give up his bag, moving away when Dick reaches for them. “C'mon, Grayson. We've already come this far, so let me carry this to the finish line. What d'you think? That I'll jump you once we get to your place?”

“Stalking is more like it,” Dick snarled, snatching for his bags but again out of reach.

He got his hair ruffled for his effort and a condescending grin from M. “Trust me. I'm too much of a gentleman to do something like that.”

In the end he complied, letting M hold on to his bags a little longer. They entered the apartment complex and walked into the elevator. They stood in the cramp space with bags taking up the most space uncomfortably until they were finally let out of the metal box. As they walk to Dick's apartment, Dick's phone rang.

Dick dug out his phone from the deep recess of his pocket while struggling with the bags in his hands. He took a quick glance at the caller ID before he swiped to accept the call, putting his phone up to his ear.

“Hello? Oh its you. What? I'm carrying a lot of bags right now so – what? Wait whats wrong? Where are you? Why are you there, B? B? Hello? Hello?!”

All he heard was static in his ear before it hangs up. Confused, Dick removes the phone from his ear and frowns at the lack of response before pressing the call button. He bit his lip when his call didn't go through and tries again. Again, the call didn't go through and decided to text Bruce to see if he's okay.

“Hey, thanks for your help,” Dick said to M without looking at him, reaching his apartment with big steps and unlocks the door. “But there is something I gotta do so I gotta go.”

Dick tossed his bags into his apartment, landing it next to the door haphazardly. He did the same with the bags M is holding and locks the door. He moves to go to the elevator when M grabs his arm and stops him.

“It's pointless for you to go,” said M.

Dick yanks his arm out of M's grip, pressing the button to go down. “It's none of your business,” he said, avoiding M's eyes. “Thank you for your help, you know the way out.”

The elevator is taking too long so Dick moves to go to the entrance for the stairwell. He barely took a step when M grabs him again and shoves him against the wall.

“Shit! What are you – ”

Dick was cut off when he was suddenly pulled into a forceful kiss. For a moment Dick froze because he hadn't expected this. A second later he still hadn't move; his hand that was bracketed to M's chest started to twitched, itching whether to shove him away or hold on to him.

M's hand is hot and heavy on the back of his neck, keeping him in place. The other hand against the wall to corner him. He kissed him like he was about to devour him, and yet gentle in the way he was handling him. The feeling of being overwhelmed and loss of control yet to feel secure and warm. Dick almost felt like giving in again just like that night.

A second later, too long for Dick's liking, he managed to shove M away. “You bastard!” Dick cursed, wiping the his mouth with the back of his hand. “What do you think you're doing – ”

Whatever Dick has to say is lost when he met M's eyes. M's eyes wasn't kind and his demeanor darkened. Dick almost shrinks back to the wall, making himself small for being subjected to his stare. Like a flip of a switch, M went from a cocky smirking bastard to a serious, intimidating man. And Dick, just being stared like this all of the fight went out of him.

M's hand that hasn't left the back of Dick's neck rubs his skin softly in small circles. “When will you stop?” M said in a low voice, tilting his head, not breaking his gaze. “What do you hope to gain going after him like that? Do you think he will notice you acting the way you are? What do you want, Dick Grayson?”

Dick could barely hear M, his breathing became erratic and his ears started to pound. To be confronted such things, he doesn't want to know. He felt his knees starting to weaken under M's gaze, but he doesn't want to give in, not like this.

Tearing his gaze away, Dick makes a break for it, ducking under M's outstretched arm. He runs toward the elevator that had just opened, getting in and quickly pressing the button. With the door shut and the elevator moving down, Dick lowers himself to the floor and breathes out a heavy sigh. His hand unconsciously touches his lips, still numb and warm from being kissed. He bit his finger and closes his eyes, not knowing how much more he could take.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to kudos and comment
> 
> Also to those who are interested in Honesty Is All I Need From You, the next installment will be posted in May.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got rid of my rant in Chapter 1 as readers don't need to know how miserable I have been feeling.

“Dick, what are you doing here?”

Inwardly Dick also wonders about that question as he stood in front of the penthouse, doing his best to control his gasping breath. He had ran all the way from his apartment to the penthouse, foregoing any public transportation that he could have used. Along the way his mind came up with wild possibilities of what could have happened to Bruce. If he was all right? Should he check the hospitals instead? Did he get hurt?

But here is Bruce standing in front of him looking utterly fine and unharmed. Not a crease or wrinkle on his perfectly ironed shirt. Not even a misplaced strand of hair.

“Are you alright, Dick?” Bruce asked, watching Dick with concern. “Is something wrong?”

“O–on the phone,” Dick stammered. “You were...”

Bruce frowns a bit before his expression evens out. “Oh, that. I had bad reception and my line was cut during the call. I tried to call you later but you didn't pick up.”

Dick's hand twitched on his side. He hadn't felt his phone vibrate nor ring on the way here. “But your voice,” he tried. “It sounded different than usual.”

“Nothing particularly happened,” Bruce said, shaking his head. “But what happened to you?”

He doesn't want to admit that he is out of breath from running to get here. All because he was worried about Bruce's mysterious phone call. Bruce's perfect appearance made Dick become self aware of his own ruffled, out of breath state. A stark contrast between perfection and devastation.

“I was jogging and the penthouse was right there,” Dick said, moving past Bruce and inviting himself into the penthouse. “Got thirsty from my jog, thought I might hydrate myself here.”

It was a lame excuse but he'll be damned if he admitted he was worried about Bruce. His nerves are standing on edge, knowing that Bruce is staring at his back. Dick does his best to ignore the irritation as he goes to the kitchen. “I'm surprised that you're here,” Dick commented as he opens the fridge, getting a bottle. “Hmmm... the fridge is empty, did you buy groceries yet?”

“Alfred is on a grocery run,” Bruce said behind him. “He'll be back soon.”

“So you'll be staying here? For how long?”

“Only for a few days. With the trial coming up and work at the office, I figured I could save time by making my commute shorter.”

Dick chugs the water strongly, he really was thirsty running here. He made an exaggerated gasp for air when half of the water from the bottle is gone. He still doesn't look at Bruce, opting to stare at the bottle in his hand.

“That would mean Tim and Damian would be at the manor alone,” Dick fiddles with the bottle's label to distract himself. “You sure you want to risk that?”

“It's only for a few days. Alfred won't be staying here with me so it's not permanent.” Judging by his voice, Bruce hasn't left his spot. That would mean Dick would have to walk past him and he really doesn't want to.

“Hmmm... Maybe I should stay until Alfred comes back. You said he's on a grocery run? I just came back from mine actually. Is it possible that we went to the same store? I wonder if he has his famous chocolate chip cookies with him...”

Swallowing his discomfort, Dick makes his way past Bruce to go to the living room. Plunking down on the sofa with a bounce, he takes out his phone and scrolls through it. It's uncomfortable for Dick to act indifferent. Initially he came because he was worried about Bruce but all he feels right now is being an idiot. He's the only one worked up over something that didn't happen and it wasn't suppose to be such a big deal.

Dick quickly glance over to Bruce whose still standing by the kitchen counter. He hasn't moved from his spot even though Dick walked past him. He couldn't see Bruce's face, his back facing towards him. A sight that was so natural to him like watching the sun rise from the east and set in the west.

“How's the trial going?” Dick asked. “Did you make any progress?”

Bruce only grunted. Dick couldn't see what he was looking at. It didn't look like he took out his phone nor read any papers laid out near him. In fact, Bruce is just staring at the counter, maybe tracing invisible patterns with his eyes.

“Must be tiring,” he continued. “But you do have a professional legal team to back you up. Not to mention Tim, the boy genius. I wonder how well he's handling school if he's helping you do this. Must be tough though, he should be studying for college exams right now. But he did mention that he wanted to go straight to work instead...”

He knows he's just rambling to avoid that awkward silence between them. The tension always seem to come up whenever he and Bruce are alone together. All this time he had been trying to make up the rift between them but it looks like they are too far apart. And Bruce. It doesn't look like he cares at all.

With his rambling, Dick almost didn't catch what Bruce had to say.

“There's no reason for you to concern yourself.”

Dick quickly raised his head up at those words. Bruce still has his back turned, not moving after all this time. Dick's hand trembled in his lap, wanted to yell that of course this concerns him as well. He's worried for Bruce, for Damian, and for Wayne Enterprise. He knows he doesn't have a law degree nor the intellect to help but he does care.

But he doesn't voice these reasons, biting his bottom lip to physically stop himself. He exhale through his nose, forcing his body to relax. “I know I know. Just thought I should keep up with what's been going on lately,” Dick said with a carefree tone to hide his tension. “But don't you think it's unfortunate that you married this woman and four years later you're in a trial against her? Gotta say, this is messier than any Hollywood marriage I have ever seen.”

Dick raised his brow, tilting his head to try and get a better look at Bruce. “Hey. What are you doing still standing there? Feels like I'm talking to wall over here.”

“What is it that you want to say?”

Dick blinked in surprise and ducked his head, staring at his phone. “I just wanted to talk,” he said in a quiet voice, fidgeting his phone in his lap. “We don't do it as often anymore... Is there anything wrong with that?”

He could feel his hands trembling, feeling insecure knowing he just gave an opening for Bruce to say all the reasons for him to feel inadequate. In the deepest part of his mind, that was one of his worst fears to let the man he admired feel disappointed in his ward.

But Dick is no longer his ward, he left Bruce's wings years ago. He became independent, making a name for himself away from Bruce's name. And right now he doesn't know where he stands with Bruce but he will take anything he can get. Even if it is something insignificant, he will horde it away close to him. And yet he wanted something more.

“Bruce, there is something I wanted to tell you. I – ”

A phone ringing interrupted what Dick was going to say, causing the two to turn towards the sound. Bruce nonchalantly glance at Dick before reaching for the phone by the small table with a decorative Ming Dynasty vase. Bruce took a look at the caller ID and swipes to receive the call. “Alfred.”

All Dick could do is stare at Bruce's back, disbelief at the opportune interruption before letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. His body may have release the building tension but his mind is in turmoil.

He stares at him longingly, not paying attention to what Bruce is saying over the phone. All he ever wanted was for Bruce to love him. To notice him. He always tries his best to get Bruce to notice him but after all this time Bruce never smiled at him. Not like he used to when they were younger. If they were to get together perhaps he could see that smile again and finally notice how much he feels about him.

Dick berated himself inwardly, what was he thinking almost confessing to Bruce about what he feels. With Bruce's mind preoccupied on other things, it would be easy to take advantage of him. To finally confess. But even if he were to confess, he would be in a difficult situation in the future. Everything between them from the beginning up until now would be all gone.

Hanging up the phone, Bruce puts the phone in his pocket and finally turns around to face Dick. “Sorry about that. What was it that you wanted to say?”

Dick felt his mouth feeling dry, opening and closing his mouth before quickly turning his head to stare at a spot on the floor. Earlier he wanted to confess but now he wasn't so sure. It doesn't seem like a good idea to set himself for another heartbreak. He came all this way over for nothing.

He quickly fake coughed and abruptly gets up from the couch. “It was nothing,” he said, trying not to look at Bruce as he makes his way for the door. “I'm going now, I got work to do. Tell Alfred I said hi.”

It was better this way. He doesn't need to tell Bruce how he feels. But he needs to get out of here before he does something he will regret.

“Dick.”

At the sound of his name, Dick paused just halfway out the door. His body is tense and he didn't turn around, clenching the door frame tight as though he is steadying himself for the worse.

“About before... Thank you.”

Dick blinked in surprise. This wasn't what he had expected from Bruce.

He could feel his breathing hitch when he felt Bruce's hand on his shoulder; steady and warm. “You were worried about me, weren't you?” Bruce said from behind. “You gone all the trouble of coming here. Sorry about that.”

Dick gave a half-hearted huff. “W-What are you talking about?” he said carefully, hiding the nervous tremor. “I came because I was thirsty from my jog.” It was futile to keep up with that flimsy excuse, it barely shields his emotions from surfacing.

_Please don't be kind to me._

It doesn't seem like Bruce wanted to destroy the charade, squeezing Dick's shoulder with reassurance. “Still, thank you for coming.”

It shouldn't affect him. The way he said those words, so warm and carefully, it caught him off guard. The pressure of Bruce's touch is light yet feels like gravity pushing him down. His head feels like a typhoon with a sort of emotions throwing him off balance.

_Otherwise I will never stop loving you._

“Bruce...”

  
\---

 

By the time he returned to the apartment, the sun has gone down and the cold has set in. Dick dejectedly stares at a particular spot on the elevator floor as it goes up to his floor. This isn't how it should be. He doesn't know how he should feel coming back like this.

He walks out of the elevator dragging his feet, yearning for his bed. It came as surprise to him when he sees M waiting in front of his apartment door, leaning against the wall while looking at his phone.

M glanced at Dick coming his way. “Didn't know you were gonna take so long,” he said, lifting an opened Crocky Crunch cereal box hiding beside him, waving it a little. “So I helped myself. They're actually not bad.”

Dick's eyes glazed over at M for a moment. His smug smile, casually leaning on the wall, eating his cereal, barely noticing a large coffee cup by his feet. “What are you still doing here?”

“Was worried,” M answered, pushing himself off from the wall to stand properly. “Don't flatter yourself though, I didn't wait here this whole time. You live in a nice neighborhood.”

Dick looks at M unamused for the fight he usually have within him is gone. He barely has energy, getting out his keys from his coat pocket to unlock his door. “You can go home now. Good night.”

But M didn't leave, studying Dick through his half-lidded eyes. It was when Dick entered his apartment that he made his move. Acting fast he enters quickly behind him, shoving Dick against the wall boxing him in.

“What the f– ”

His curse was interrupted by meeting with M's eyes. Those eyes – Dick always thought that whenever Bruce stares at him intensely he feels so open, so transparent, so exposed. As if Bruce could read his mind. He never knew that someone other than Bruce can look at him with the same intensity. He couldn't even look away if he wanted to.

A beat has passed, just M scrutinizing Dick before he decides to speak. “What happened?”

Snapping out of his daze, Dick glared at him. “It's none of your business,” he spat. “Get out of my house.” He tried to push M away but he wouldn't budge. It's like pushing against a brick wall.

M only moved closer until he and Dick are separated by less than a half a foot. “Why do you do this to yourself?” he asked. “He won't see you for what you are, what you want.”

Dick hates the feel of M's gaze, trailing his face. It wasn't lust, pity, or sympathy. He scowled, turning his face away and gets out from under M's arm. Even turning away he could still feel his gaze. “What's it to you?! You think you know everything about me, but you don't. So just get out and leave me alone.”

He didn't look where he was going, tripping on the grocery bags he left on the floor. M caught his hand but it was too late as Dick lost his balance and fell to the floor. He hits the ground stunned with the wind knocked from his lungs.

Dick blinks his eyes, adjusting to the light bulb shining directly at him before it was covered by M's large frame. He couldn't look away, being forced to look up at M.

“On the contrary, I know more about you than yourself. What you're going through, what you're feeling, and how stubborn you can really get.”

M frowned as he rests both of his forearms besides Dick's head. The look in M's eyes is not something Dick could place. “I don't pity you.” He tucks a strand of hair behind Dick's ear. “More like annoyed, actually. But that is one of the things I like about you.”

Dick's eyes widened when M presses a kiss to his closed lips. He didn't yield, not even to the light bite on his bottom lip, seeking entrance. Eventually he couldn't breath, letting out a gasp for breath, allowing M to enter and kiss him thoroughly.

“Mrgphh..,” Dick sounded between the kiss. “S–stop – ”He barely has the strength to resist, to push M away and threaten to kick his ass. But after what happened with Bruce, he was beyond exhausted that he's just tired of everything. And yet he couldn't allow himself to give up like this. To let M have his way just because he couldn't have anything to do with Bruce.

“This isn't healthy, you know?” M commented, moving away from Dick's mouth. Dick sucks in a breath when M attaches himself to a sensitive part of his neck. “I'm interested in you and yet you're head over heels for the other guy who has no clue what to do about you. Are you going to go on like this? To drop everything when he calls?”

Dick could feel his eyes watering and the lump on his throat seemed to swell. He lifts his arm over his eyes, attempting to block the sight of M and his words. He knows how pitiful he looks chasing after someone who doesn't have a clue how he feels. But M doesn't get it, how much he would have done anything for Bruce. Dick wanted to become someone special to Bruce but he's too terrified. He can never tell him and his feelings must never reach him. So he will have to settle for something else. Even with his eyes closed he couldn't get Bruce out of his head. No matter where he turned to or what M is doing, he's still there at the back of his head.

_And he won't even let me try._

“Grayson, look at me.”

For a moment Dick doesn't move, keeping his arm over his eyes and bites his lip. He could hear M sighed before his arm is lifted away with surprising gentleness. Used to the heat and the strength M holds his arm, the carefulness is something new, Dick's eyes fluttered open halfway.

A tear escaped from the corner of his eye as it slides down the side of his face and drips to the floor. He didn't realize he was crying as M wiped an escape tear with his thumb. Dick blinks his vision cleared, looking up at M staring at him with an emotion he couldn't place.

“You can close your eyes but it doesn't change anything,” M said in a low voice. His hand that wiped away Dick's tears moved to cup Dick's face. “I know what you're going through and I have a lot of patience. But my personality isn't that nice. You can even pretend I'm him, what do you want me to do?”

The emotion and intent behind M's words and actions has Dick close his eyes again and shuddered in anticipation and fear. The power and control M has over him is addicting, almost wanting to submit and forget. To deceive himself that this was Bruce touching him. Everything about them was almost similar, tempting him to say yes.

He couldn't do that.

Dick opened his eyes, this time avoiding M's gaze. He sat up without any resistance and moves to lean his back against the wall. Somehow Dick found the strength to shake his head and tells him the truth.

“I don't want this,” Dick said, in what had to be the hoarsest voice he ever heard himself use. “I don't want anything.”

_Because all he ever wanted was to be noticed by him._

After he said that, there was a moment of silence. He doesn't notice M moving away to sit at the opposite wall facing him. He avoids M's studying gaze altogether, looking anywhere but him, opting to stare at the lines of his tiled floor. Doesn't want to say anything more.

Unfortunately after what seemed to be a minute of silence, M decides to ask. “Then what's wrong?” he asked. “Did you hate the things we did?”

It's not something he could say out loud and be understood. And even with the right words, it still wouldn't be enough. Taking a shaky breath, all Dick could do was shake his head.

M watches him from his position, narrowing his eyes to scrutinize Dick's face. After awhile he finally gives a heavy sigh. “Jesus Christ...”

Dick doesn't look up when M moves to get up. He barely noticed his groceries shuffled to the side by M's foot to make some standing room.

“I have grown fond of you,” M said, strapping his bag over his shoulder. “It's rare to see someone like you in this day and age. Strong, stubborn, loyal... We could have been great together but I'm not the one you're looking for.”

Dick hasn't moved nor say anything as M opens the door and stares down at the door knob. “Call me when you finally decide to move on,” said M. “When you finally decide to free yourself from him. From the love that will never be returned. And when you do, you'll find something better out there waiting for you. But for now...”

He didn't notice how M moved in front of him as his face tilted up to be kissed. The kiss froze Dick to the spot. The only thing he could register at the moment was M cupping his face with his warm strong hands, pressing their lips together. He didn't fight it. It wasn't the passionate kisses they had share before, but this almost feels much sweeter that he doesn't want to pull away. He almost melted into the kiss and closes his eyes when M pulls away.

M hadn't remove his hands, holding Dick in place. He could feel himself almost relaxing, opening his eyes slightly to stare at M's lips. He took a chance and follows his gaze up to finally look at M. This is the first time he truly looks at him. To look past the smirking demeanor and see something he doesn't really understand.

For a fraction of a second Dick could have seen something in M's eyes that was holding him back. M's response was delayed for a fraction of a second, not prepared for Dick to meet his eyes. A smirk of a mask is slapped on his face, but not usual or unkind. Something else entirely new. “See you around, kid.”

Dick stay rooted to his spot as M left and shut the door. He didn't know how cold and empty he felt when M left and took the warmth with him. The kiss on his lips lingered and the warmth of his hands still imprinted on his body. But it was better this way.

Although it hurts, Dick thought it would be better like this. Sooner or later he could face his own feelings along with reality. All he needed was “time” to settle his heart. Nothing else.

 

* * *

 

 

Present

Feelings from remembering the incident range from embarrassment to nostalgia. Dick had regretted leading M along and getting him caught with the mess that he was. He had wanted to hurry up and forget it ever happened already. But it's always forever in his dreams, lingering there. Just watching M waiting by the rail, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do anymore.

“Daddy!”

Dick turned toward the sound of a little girl with pigtails running towards M as fast as her little legs can carry. M bends down to embrace her in his arms, lifting her up and spins her around. Dick blinked, rubbing his eyes to make sure they weren't playing tricks on him.

Laughter had escaped from both M and the girl in what Dick liked to think is the oddest thing he's ever heard. Their spinning slows down when a handsome male about M's height with white hair approaches them. The male in white scoops up the girl from M's arms and gives the girl a kiss on the cheek. Dick couldn't find any fault, watching them with envy from afar.

But what got to him the most was the expression on M's face. It was something he had seen the last time he saw M, barely a fraction of a second. The soft gaze that wanted to hold and cherish. The warm smile as he presses his lips against his partner's cheek. Dick hadn't realize it until now but what he knows is that look was the most human thing he had ever seen on M's face. And it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Never knew he was capable of making such a face, Dick thought to himself. If he were to be honest, he could say that M looks more handsome like that. And after all these years he's glad to see that M found someone that he could be happy with together.

“What are you looking at, Grayson?”

Dick gave an unmanly yelp, feeling his heart jumped out of his chest when he turns around to see Damian standing behind him. “Damian, y-you scared me!” Dick stammered, leaning against the pillar to steady himself from falling. “Don't do this to an old man like me.”

Damian raises his eyebrow, slightly amused. “Did you wait long?”

“Wha – no. I just got here...”

Giving a half smile, Damian started walking away. Dick caught up to him and now walks beside him. “So how was your college entrance exam?” Dick asked. “Do you think you'll get in?”

“It was a piece of cake,” Damian bragged, a haughty look graced his face for a second before being replaced by an indifferent look. “I was taught those questions when I was in elementary school so this is not much of a challenge.”

“Hmph,” Dick nodded. “Kind of forgot about that,” he said. “I remembered when I had to take the exam there were more questions and they included an essay portion. You kids have it easier now, I almost feel jealous.”

“Then I guess I'll find some way to challenge myself more.”

Dick scoffed, lightly bumping Damian with his hip. Damian shot him an affronted look at the contact and rolls his eyes before putting his arm around Dick's shoulder.

Dick tilted his head up to look at Damian's face for his surprise action. “Damian?”

A hint of a blush graced Damian's cheek before it all too quickly disappeared, looking down at Dick with amusement. “Not used to looking up?”

Dick exhales loudly through his nose and pouted. “Shut up, Dami,” he muttered. But he didn't remove Damian's arm around him as he was led to exit the station.

Despite the circumstance Dick had to go through, he was glad to have gone through the experience with M. Now with Damian, just new to the relationship they've been running around in circles for so long. Dick had always longed for more while refusing to take a leap of faith. While Damian silently persevered to build something more for them, together. And when they finally notice the feelings they hold for another, maybe this relationship will last. But for now...

_Just like this is fine._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess most people reading this were disappointed with the endgame relationship but it was part of the series and the relationship was established before hand. I don't feel it necessary to add the extra relationship tags as those instances only show up briefly and I want most of the focus to be on the tags stated. 
> 
> That's about it. Last chapter is optional as it will tell the story in M's pov and include author's note of why I chose this particular competing love interest (rather than a certain you know who).
> 
> Next installment of Robin Romantica will be this summer as the story continues with Dick and Damian.
> 
> Kudos and Comment please!


	4. M's bonus chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M's pov

_At first I thought it was just sympathy. I guess I just fallen for his endearing face._

First thing he notices about Dick Grayson is his ass. It wasn't the first thing he wants to notice, it just happens to be right there in front of him.

It started when M was editing a manuscript in a cafe; eating and working at the same time. The white noise of the cafe helps him focus, going through his work mechanically like an well-oiled machine.

He turned his head toward the window and is met by an ass to his face. He couldn't help but feel offended that this person is blocking his view of the streets with his jean–wearing butt. Very hard to not notice it at all, makes him queasy even. Almost as bad as his train ride, sitting on the end of the bench and somebody's ass is just leaning against the bars next to his face.

But it doesn't feel as bad with thick glass separating them. He goes back to his work and does his best to ignore the man's butt. By the time he finishes editing five chapters of the manuscript, the man disappeared.

\---

The next time he's at the same cafe again the man is there. Judging by the shape and size of his ass, M concluded it's the same man. Not that M is proud to say he notices these features first, just that he's very observant. This time the man is leaning on the window, not by where M sits but by the table. He doesn't completely obstruct M's view of the streets so M was thankful for small mercies this time.

M glances out to the street before moving his eyes to the man standing by the window. This time he was able to get a partial look of the man. Attractive with soft yet defined features along with dark wind-swept hair that cascaded past his neck to the base of his collarbone. He could barely tell that the stranger's body is lean with his big jacket covering his frame. Doesn't look much older than himself, probably a student. M doesn't usually notices these things about people, but the man reminds him of the protagonist in a story he is editing. He does suppose the man waiting outside is a protagonist in his own story.

He wasn't able to create a story when the man decided to leave. M follows his gaze as much as the window allows him, the man will be back soon enough.

\---

M sighs when he came back to the cafe and didn't see the man. He couldn't help but feel a small part of him feels disappointed that the man didn't show up, same time same place. It doesn't seem like a big loss so M brushed it off and got to work at his usual spot.

After getting some work done, he allowed his mind to wander, gazing out to the street. A particular figure standing by the lamp post caught his attention. Using the man's appearance as a protagonist, his mind played out the story he was editing.

This time, M doesn't remove his eyes from him. He doesn't know why this particular man caught his attention but realized that this was the same man who blocked his view of the window. He was right about the man's features but this new angle allows him to get a good look of the man.

His contours perfectly flow from his slightly rounded cheeks, his lips were full and plump. His eyes are down turned but when he briefly looked up, his blue eyes seemed to spark.

M frowned at the thought. There doesn't seem to be anything interesting about him yet his attention was captured right away. All the man does is stand and look at his phone. His eyes glazed, not paying attention to his surroundings.

Suddenly the man's head shot up and the glazed look disappeared. M follows his gaze and sees another man; handsome, taller, and muscular, heading towards the man waiting for him. People around them turn their heads to steal a second glance and M admits this guy is attractive but that wasn't what caught his attention.

The closed off expression the man had worn earlier disappeared in an instant when that newcomer appeared. The glazed look widened as a spark appeared that hasn't been there before. That flat line of his down-turned lips into a beautiful smile. If M were to compared what he saw earlier to now, he wouldn't have known they were two completely different people.

The newcomer didn't stop walking even as he got near the man. M turns his head, following his gaze the best as he could of the two's retreating back. Who knew one person can change a person's expression into something different and intriguing.

\---

M almost slacks off his work when he starts paying close attention to the man waiting in the cold. The way he dressed, the bag he carries, and where he waits. He never waits in the same place. Sometimes it's leaning on the window (to which M finally admits is a pretty good butt) or waiting by the lamp post.

The man always have that bored, disinterested look as he ignores everything in the world. M wonders whether the man notices him staring from the cafe, but no such luck. Sometimes the man he was waiting for never shows up, the man would wait there past the meeting time before wandering off someplace else. His expression dejected and lost, disappointed the man didn't show. And every single time man appears, his expression turns into something so hopeful that a small part of M gets irritated.

The expressions he makes is something that becomes familiar to M. How can a single person have an effect on such a disinterested person. That hopeful and smile look so pure and child–like, like a student waiting for their crush to walk by. And when the person never shows, his expression is closed off like he was resigned to his fate.

The more he pays attention to the waiting man, the more he could see the cracks in his mask. The man's legs shift from time to time when he's waiting too long. His body shivers when a strong breeze blew in his face. Sometimes his disinterested look turns into a frown when he thinks of something upsetting. The way he looks, moves, and the beautiful smile that graced his face becomes so familiar to M that he could read this guy easily. By the end of the twelfth sighting, M comes up with a conclusion.

The man is in an unrequited love.

He later came to another conclusion that the man waiting there was playing it off as though meeting here was just a coincidence. It was an amusing yet irritating sight. Sometimes M had hoped by now something would have change. But it all stays the same.

After an particular exhausting meeting with the distribution company, M heads for the cafe. It was past the time he usually go but was mildly surprised when he saw the same man waiting there. The man should have left by now but there he was, leaning by the window and shivering from the cold. That sad dejected look is on the corners, his face looking down as though he wants to cry.

The man had looked up and his eyes had locked on his own. He had looked at M, and if it was just for less than a second. Their eyes met.

That was when M decided to make the first move.

\---

The instant their lips touch, an uncontrollable urge had risen within him. He couldn't hold back and wanted to feel more of the warmth from his lips and his body.

The pent up frustration he felt from just looking at him so long, Dick Grayson, unleashed and remained with him vividly. The warmth of his body, his labored breath. Dick acted as though he was cold, chasing after M's own warmth. But his own warmth is so strong it seemed to melt within him becoming one. His face mixed with expressions of pain and pleasure. Everything about him seemed like it was being engraved directly into his brain.

M doesn't know what cause him to make the first move but he doesn't regret it. He's just something else altogether. So he took his time, to map out every inch of his body. His touch was heated and rough, to finally have this man in his arms.

And Dick takes it all in stride, letting M take over and have control. His eyes are clouded while his mind is somewhere else. And when that happens M would bite somewhere particularly sensitive to pull him back in. The things he like and things he like to do are separate things. He's generally kind to things he like and always take care of the people he like.

He'll make Dick feel so good that all he'll think about is him.

\---

M didn't think he would see Dick so soon as this must have been fate.

He remembered the morning after; Dick's body marked by him, the nervousness and stuttering that follows. The blush while putting up a strong front is adorable. Dick made so many expression since leaving the apartment than the time he waited for that man to appear.

To see Dick struggling with groceries is too good to pass up as he steps in to lighten his load with ease. M couldn't help but teased, watching the blush travel from Dick's face to his neck. His ears are tinged with pink not from the cold but from embarrassment. It was endearing. He couldn't help it, he's always enjoyed messing with people.

To much of M's surprise, Dick is more than just a pretty face. That look he always carries like a lot of things are going through his mind. His spiteful attitude and demeanor front is endearing. To know Dick isn't as pathetic as he thought makes him more attracted to him.

When they walked past the courthouse, M finally knows the person Dick had longed for. That attentive look appeared instantly and a second later disappeared and replaced with a sad and dejected look. For the man he longed for is someone he can never be with. Not even to stay by his side.

When that phone call came, he was surprised of how Dick had reacted. A range of expressions from joy to confusion to worry. He couldn't even stop him from leaving but not before leaving him with a kiss to who knows where.

_The easiest thing we can do for the person we love is to throw ourselves away. The strength to do things that aren’t in our nature—that’s love._

Alone in the hallway of somebody else's apartment complex, M wondered why is he still here. Why is he putting so much effort for a man he just slept with.

That kid is always on his mind. That innocence and hope on his face, he's never experienced those feelings to have them for himself. To have it graced on Dick Grayson's face is something for his love to be worthwhile. He felt himself smile when he thought of that look. He wouldn't mind being drowned in that type of love.

He wouldn't mind being addicted to him.

To his surprise when Dick returned, he started to cry. Not crying over M but crying over Bruce. He felt himself irritated, clenching his free hand to stop himself from doing something he would regret. For Dick to be crying over Bruce... it makes him want to do something to Dick worth crying over. To cry so much he won't be able to think about anything else.

And yet it was such a fascinating sight. His tear stained face as he cries not for himself but for something that will never be achieved. For Dick's heart is something he might not be able to understand, nor did he want to.

He couldn't do it.

M offered one last chance for Dick to let go. To reach out for his hand and free him from his unrequited love. It might not be what he wanted but it was the least he could do.

 

* * *

 

“Is something the matter?”

M was snapped out of his thoughts by Apollo's question. Calm and patient, yet assertive when he wants to be, Apollo is someone who can handle all that M can be.

After his rejection, M drowned himself in his work. He never returned to the cafe he frequented to avoid the chance of seeing him there. As days went by, the thought of Dick Grayson slips from his mind until only a silver remain. Later he realize that what he feels for Dick could never amount to what Dick feels for Bruce.

M had never thought that he would end up in a relationship with Apollo, with a daughter to boot. He thought they wouldn't last with all his habits and urge to see through the cracks of a mask. His sarcasm and sadistic nature is also the reason why he's not good with relationship.

But not with Apollo. Someone once told M that being in a relationship with someone would make you want to be a better person. M started to believe that to be true as he strives to be better. And soon enough he felt himself changed.

Looking over his shoulder he could glance at Dick being tugged into a hug by someone taller than him. M's eyes widened as he could see Dick's relaxed stance, leaning into the other. The corner of his mouth twitched as he could see Dick look up to his partner. That hopeful and fond gaze is familiar and yet underneath it is something more.

_Love._

M was glad that Dick had rejected and glad that Dick had moved on. To not be stuck in a one-sided love. To finally find the happiness they deserve.

“Daddy?”

M looks down to his daughter, holding his hand. Her small hand tucked into his much larger hand makes him want to handle her gently and hide her away from the world. He never thought to actually have these feelings before but everyday with them feels like something new. “What is it, sweetheart?”

His daughter pouted, puffing her cheeks out like a squirrel making M want to cuddle her right there and then. “I asked if we can stop by for some ice cream before we go home,” she said. “There was this ice cream store that sells blue ice cream and I want to try it.”

M turns to Apollo. “It's still too early for dinner and the ice cream store is on the way home... what do you think?”

Apollo clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “It may work for you but not for baby here.” He ruffled his daughter's hair, earning a squeak (“I'm not a baby!”). “By dinner time she's going to be full and won't be able to eat anything. Maybe next time.”

Their daughter groaned in disappointment, tugging her hand out of M's hand and runs ahead of them. They didn't have to worry as their stride is much longer to be able to keep up with her quick, smaller pace. “Papa, you're not fair!”

“Love you too, sweetheart!” Apollo called out to her as M chuckled in response.

Sometimes M had wondered what did he do to deserve someone like Apollo and his daughter. He had never thought to be happy and content in a relationship like this. The warmth and gentle feeling every time he looks at them. And to him this is all that he can ever ask for.

_Just like this is fine._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn that was hard to write but I'm glad this is over
> 
> Originally when I wrote this I wanted to use Slade Wilson as a competing love interest. But given his personality (in canon and fanon wise) and his less-than-desirable track record, he would not have let Dick go and [Ambitious Boys](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11740887/) would have never exist. (Then this would have turned into an epic love triangle between Bruce, Dick, and Slade, and I frankly don't have the skills to pull this [off](http://wantstobelieve.tumblr.com/post/169746728327/).)
> 
> Midnighter has been an underrated character and I feel this guy deserve some love. Given his frenemies canon relationship with Dick and his appearance to be similar to Bruce, this choice of love interest is much more appealing. The point of the competing love interest is a supporting role in this fic, to get Dick from point A to point B, and I don't want someone manipulative (*cough* Slade *cough*) to mess with Dick's head.
> 
> Next installment will hopefully be posted this summer. If you like what I wrote please give a kudos and a comment. Until next time!


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